I wanna be mine

I don’t wanna be yours;

I don’t wanna be his or hers;

I don’t wanna be the body in the open top hearse—

the faded yellow photo in your red leather purse;

the vow mouthed at the altar, "for better or worse", like a curse.

I don’t wanna be your tearful apology or your fingertip bruise;

I don’t wanna be your muse;

I wanna be the whole vintage cabinet not just the screws.

I wanna be mine;

I wanna be the first taste of sweet amber nectar in the sunshine;

I wanna be the water that turns into wine;

I wanna be the face of Jesus Christ seared into a ham and cheese toastie on rye

on a two out of ten day—I wanna be a nine.

I wanna be the first flush of love that bashful awkward smile;

I wanna be the extra mile:

the open horizon stretching out wild.

I wanna be alive

and not just in your eyes.

Not growing only in your gaze,

be my own trend and craze;

my own tsunami wave.

Not slapping on a brave face

but for it to be true,

and feel the love deepest darkest blue.

I wanna be mine.

Leon Helsby

Leon is a spoken word artist and musician based in Essex. His poetry is sometimes funny, sometimes bleak, always honest, occasionally personal and always striving for hopeful. He is just as likely to be found making wry observations about life in a soft play, as he is chatting about cult mind control. He has a rambling podcast called 'The hug from the moon podcast'.